The Philippine Online Chronicles

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In the movie Home Alone, then child star Macaulay Culkin seemed to have fun in being home alone. However, in real life, some parents are faced with the anxiety of leaving their children alone at home.

In the early 19^th century, children were also in a similar situation. Referred to as “latchkey children”, they wore the keys to their homes around their neck. These children were left home for a few hours to fend for themselves as their fathers headed off to war and their mothers worked.

As a general rule, it is never a good idea to leave children at home without any adult supervising them. But many parents today are faced with the difficult choice of leaving their kids on their own, especially in families where both parents work.

There are a number of factors to consider before making the decision of allowing your children to stay home alone and unsupervised. Age is only one of the many factors to be considered. You should also take a look at the child’s maturity, physical and mental limitations and your residence’s environmental conditions, among others. Nevertheless, if you must leave your children home alone, they need to learn house rules and safety precautions for their security and for your peace of mind.

Stranger Safety

First off, you need to orient the kids on the definition of “stranger”. You may repeatedly tell your children “Do not talk to strangers!” But do they really understand what that means?  Teach them that even the most familiar people that they see everyday can be considered as strangers since they do not know them personally.

Never open the door to anyone

Nineteen-year old Raye (not her real name) began being left alone at home when she was 15 years old. Much to her mom’s dislike, Raye prefers to be home rather than going with her mom to do errands. It was an easier decision for her mom to leave her alone since they reside in a condominium.  All visitors are screened from the lobby and even deliveries are checked and communicated to every homeowner before they are allowed inside the condominium premises. This is a perfect example of a resident’s environmental conditions.

But this is not always the case in most households. If your home is like the majority of households where visitors can go directly to the doorstep, remind your children not to open the door to anyone. Lock the gate or doors at all times. Remind them to check through peepholes or windows when someone rings. If your house does not have a gate, make sure to have a peep hole or a chain bolt, which will allow them to take a peek without opening the door.

 

Safety on the Phone

When your child is home alone, it is always best to have an answering machine. Tell your children to let the answering machine do the work and just pick up if you are the one calling. If and when they are allowed to answer the phone, instruct them not to give out any information no matter who is calling, such as your address, the number of people in the household. More importantly, do not let the caller know that the parents are not home. Instead guide the kids through the lines they need to say like “My mom and dad can’t come to the phone; I’ll take your message.” Teach them to write down the message and hang up. In cases of prank callers, instruct them to just hang up and never to entertain them.

Setting firm ground rules

Clarify and explain to your children the things they are allowed to do and those that they are not. Being all alone is a symbol of independence for your kids. As much as they know what the rules are, the temptation to break them is there, most especially for teenagers. Make sure that they are aware how extremely important the rules are and that they understand the consequences of breaking the rules, cite examples, if necessary.

• No visitors allowed. This rule should have no exceptions; even their friends should not be allowed when mom and dad are away. Children may be tempted to call their friends to come over, but let them understand that this situation may alert some unwelcome visitors.
• Chatting on the net. The ideal situation is to never to allow your children to surf the net unsupSaveervised. However if they do so, teach them internet safety such as never to shout out their status as being “home alone”. They may not even be aware of it but this could spell disaster. They may think that it’s only in cyberspace and it’s harmless but they need to be informed that a cyber stranger or a cyber stalker is lurking around.
• Kitchen Caution. When kids are left to fend for themselves, remember to leave them enough cooked food so they won’t have to use your kitchen appliances especially the stove. Appliances such as the stove and oven should be used only when adults are around. Teaching your kids kitchen safety will go a long way. At the very least, they can be allowed to re-heat food using the microwave with caution.

Stay in touch

Call your children throughout the period you are not with them and ask them for updates like what they are doing. Make sure to create a list of all emergency contact numbers including your mobile and office numbers, your trusted friends’ and neighbours’ numbers, as well as the local fire and police departments’.

In cases of emergency, make sure that your child knows some basic information such as your complete address, directions to your house, parents’ full names. If possible, write these down and post where your child can have easy access.

Allowing children to stay home alone is never an easy decision for parents to make, but sometimes unavoidable situations call for it. For children, staying home alone even for a couple of hours is a big responsibility as well as a privilege.

Remember to include your children in this decision-making to ascertain their readiness. Sit down with the whole family and talk it out. Make sure to listen and consider their concerns and ideas. They probably have something that worries them; tell them to speak up in order to address these apprehensions. Keep in mind that they too have a voice in the house.

Staying home alone is a way of teaching your children responsibility and will help them boost their self–esteem.  Remember to always praise their little successes and by the time you know it, you will have a raised a very independent and responsible child.

 

Photos: Tweener on the phone by Sassy Mom on Flickr. Some Rights Reserved/ Kandado by Sassy Mom on Flickr. Some Rights Reserved/