For most Pinoys, being the pasaway means that you are marked as the one to watch out for, in the negative sense. You are the troublemaker, the one whom everyone expects to do the worst thing possible. And even if you do try to help, you’ll probably do it in a way that will cause people headaches. Let’s face it, if the root word of the term for you means that you are always being reprimanded, then you know that you’re not on Santa’s “nice” list for Christmas.
However, that shouldn’t get you down. There are advantages to being the pasaway.
You can be the stubborn one who gets things done
Sometimes, the only way to solve a situation is to keep on doing something until you get results. Now, one nuance of the term pasaway is that the person can be inordinately stubborn, and will not stop at doing something. That’s an actual advantage in some cases, if you think about it: for jobs where what you have to do will be to keep on doing it, no matter what, a pasaway who is so inclined to do the job may be the perfect man or woman for them.
It’s no surprise, then, that many successful people around you will probably have their own pasaway memories. Otherwise, their hardheadedness would not have earned them their successes.
The Positive Pasaway:
Simply being stubborn is not a winning idea, if you think about it. Rather, what you should figure out is what you’re good at, and to keep on doing that. The idea here is not to be stubborn just because you are, but to use that stubborn streak to improve yourself, and carve for yourself a skill that can be useful for your career. And 7ou don’t have to apply it to only one skill. Once you’ve mastered one skill through stubbornness, you can always shift your attention to a new skill.
You can be the one who finds the right way to do things
Even in small families, the leader (father or mother) may keep on sticking to an idea that apparently isn’t working. This can be as simple as a recipe that isn’t working out for food preparation, to some notions about house budget accounting that may be doing more harm than good. You can always trust the pasaway to come up with a new solution – and honestly, quite a few of them – if he or she feels that it can be done better, be it in terms of speed or number of steps. When you see a pasaway doing things in a different way, it’s a good idea not to ignore them. Rather, one should observe and see if there is merit. After all, a more efficient process or solution may be right there for use by everyone.
The Positive Pasaway:
If you are the pasaway who feels like no one is doing something right, and the solution is obviously in your head, then just doing it in front of them is the best way to be the negative pasaway. Do remember that you are doing changes in something that someone else thought of, so it’s going to be a bit iffy in terms of presenting the solution. Your best bet may be to suggest changes a piece at a time. Yes, it’s going to be annoying, but at least you’ll get changes done in the end.
You can say the unspeakable
Pasaway people are infamous for being the ones to vocalize what shouldn’t have been said. DO you have an Uncle looking too old because of dressing up too young for his age? You bet the pasaway will be the one to say something nasty about it. Is a project at work being delayed by mistakes being made by some higher-ups? Don’t be surprised if the Office pasaway is the one who says it loudly during break times.
In this sense, the pasaway is like the modern version of the court jester: they are the ones who can fearlessly say things that could get other people killed. Unfortunately, most of the time, they don’t have the protection of a royal crown. And that means a lot of trouble for a pasaway.
Alternatively, a pasaway can also say the unspeakable by not saying anything. He or she will be the one who does not laugh at the boss’ jokes, or does not engage in social niceties in family reunions. The implied but unstated disdain (as others see it) speaks just as loudly as ill-said words.
The Positive Pasaway:
Yes, it is utterly tempting to call someone or something out when things are going wrong. However, to put a twist in the pasaway mode of thinking, do you really want more hassles? Unless you happen to be somewhat masochistic, the idea that the boss or senior family member will be looking over your shoulder or giving you the “I am watching you” stare for the next few weeks (or months) is just utterly a losing proposition. What you can do, however, is invite the “offending” person out for coffee, and then do your best to tell them what you think, without using any cusswords or an insulting tone. Who knows, you may be able to get your point across and see some change happen. At the very worst, you’ll at least know if you can stay friends after you’ve just torn their heart out.
Is it worth it to stay pasaway?
For many people, they see the pasaway attitude as simply a phase that some people go through in their lives. It’s not unusual, in fact, to hear some people say “it’s not right to be still pasaway at your age.” However, you have to think of it in another way: pasaway attributes make for the original thinkers. In fact, it’s no surprise if many pasaways are actually those who are so smart that they have no more patience for being “nice” – and therefore end up being naughty!
If you know someone who is pasaway, then it’s a good idea if you can convince him or her to be more patient, and learn how to roll with the punches. That way, they can effect change – what they want to happen – without looking out of place or “naughty.”
For those who consider themselves as pasaway, the best advice that can be given is that showing just a little bit of restraint and patience can change you from being the pasaway to the “idea guy” in other’s eyes.
– “Stubbornness is sometimes a place to sit and fume,” by Lars Plougmann, c/o flickr.com
– “Mr. William Campbell in court jester costume, worn at the fancy dress ball given by Governor General Lord Dufferin,” by Library and Archives Canada, c/o flickr.com