Aren’t you just tired of always reading about how to become financially responsible and making your money grow, particularly through saving? My golly, it can sometimes feel like swallowing our 105th piece of polvoron in one sitting – nakakaumay! Well…have no fear! I’m here to save the day! I’m here to give you variety – pampaalis umay ika nga! I’m going to show you how to save money – not!!!
No, I’m not saying you should always eat in the garage, garden or God forbid, along Edsa. I’m talking about always eating in restaurants – even the so-called value meal places.
Sure, your favorite happy chicken treat may be considered a value meal compared to eating the same stuff at, say, a fancier restaurant. But if you look at it, you can enjoy the same thing at home for probably half the price. So if you eat outside often, you’re essentially doubling your daily food expenses. And that’s just assuming conservatively that you’re eating at the happiness chicken or beef place! What more if you eat at places that celebrate everyday as end of the workweek! Isn’t that a cool and fun way of blowing your budget and not saving money! I know, right?
GROCERY SHOPPING WITHOUT A LIST
Doing groceries without any idea of what you really need to buy for the week is like backing your car out of the garage without thinking about where you want to go – you’ll be acting on impulse and probably buy stuff you don’t really need. And that’s the best way to meet your goal of not saving money – buying as much stuff that you don’t really need!
It’s not that the list itself is like some sort of money-spending kryptonite. No siree! What makes for kryptonite are the mental exercises that are involved in making a grocery list such as goal setting, planning, self-control, willpower and even creativity. So if you regularly do your groceries sans a grocery list, you are freeing yourself from the shackles known as budgeting and self-control by making impulsive and thoughtless grocery shopping strong habits. And that, my friend, is another great way to save money…not!
HANGING OUT WITH THE RICH(ER) AND (MORE) FAMOUS
This can be particularly effective for people who are barely able to make ends meet. Hanging out with people who are richer and have more cash to spend on the niceties of life is a very good way to develop one of the most important attitudes for successfully saving money not – discontent! Being regularly around people who have significantly more stuff than you – and who can really afford it – can help you start believing you deserve to have the same things that they have, even if you can’t afford it just yet! As this sense of entitlement continues to grow, discontent also grows and consequently, even your spending.
IF HEALTH IS WEALTH, SPEND YOUR WEALTH
Eating as much as you want and whatever you want coupled with very long working hours and a very sedentary lifestyle can be a very potent cocktail mix for costly chronic health issues like high blood pressure, cancer, kidney problems, and diabetes, among others. And the costlier the health issue, the easier it is to blow away money and not be able to save. Consider that a simple, 1-week confinement in a mid-range hospital due to an infection can easily cost you Php 15 thousand. Can you imagine if you get confined every month? Now, that’s an easy way to not save money.
DON’T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY
No, this isn’t another way to blow your money and not save. What I’m saying is don’t take this article seriously – at least not too seriously. In case you haven’t noticed, this is a satirical article, the main point of which is to encourage – or provoke you even – to do the opposite of what’s written. With all the similarly written personal finance articles on among other topics, saving money, we all need a break from the monotony. This is one such break.
Photo c/o Pixabay. Public domain.
Joseph Romana, a.k.a. Seph to his friends, graduated from De La Salle University with a bachelor’s degree in Management of Financial Institutions and finished his MBA at the Pamantasan Ng Lungsod Ng Maynila early this year. Prior to becoming a full-time writer last month, he was a former bank examiner for a government regulatory body, a market and liquidity risk officer for one of the country’s largest universal banks, a treasury fixed income trader for another universal bank and a licensed stock broker at the Philippine Stock Exchange (PSE). For Seph’s other writings, you can check out his website sephromana.com. You can also reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org