Author Archives: myrnaco

pinoy spirit

Selected Buhay Pinoy stories that celebrate the Filipino spirit, 2014

Wednesday, 31 December 2014 | Written by
pinoy spirit

pinoy spirit

In 2014, POC’s Buhay Pinoy continued to celebrate the Filipino spirit especially in the face of the rising challenges threatening the prospects of our beloved country.

The Pinoy’s vaunted bamboo-like resiliency has been shown once again in another series of disasters. Perhaps nothing demonstrates this more dramatically than the fact that many of us have accepted a constant sense of impending catastrophe as “the new normal.”

Remembering Ondoy during Mario by Julie Fuertes juxtaposes the two super typhoons, which lashed almost exactly five years of each other, and draws out similarities in that both brought heavy rains and both caught us flat-footed. On the other hand, in his story on Ang Bagyong Ruby which visited the country later in the year, Ben Banares gives voice to a communal fear that the succession of typhoons have engendered into the Pinoy psyche. This fear, he hopes, can be harnessed positively to result in rebuilding better the stricken communities. Fuertes’ piece also ends with a hopeful note – that tragedy can bring out courage, faith, generosity and love.

For the Pinoy, no event is so dreadful it cannot be made light of; no person or institution so exalted it cannot be laughed at or down. The Newskupow series by Ben Banares was a laugh-a-minute showcase of the indomitable sense of humor Filipinos are famous for. Fodder to the author’s satire-churning mill are our follies and foibles — from the Pinoy every man to celebrities to politicians and government leaders.

Some memorable examples: The spit-happy traffic constable who almost got away with almost murder, Boy Pandesal ‘s tormentor, the producers of the “gaga girls”/“bobo boys” video, Mommy Dionisia and Kris Aquino and their antics, government leaders and politicians and the revolting extent of corruption and inefficiency they appear to be capable of.

In Newskupow, PNP Director Alan Purisima is” Poor is he Ma,” Senators Cayetano, Trillanes amd Drillon are the Senate hearings’ “3 Stooges,” Mar Roxas is “Boy Padyak,” “Boy Bigas,” “Boy Sibuyas,” and “Boy MRT,” and PNoy himself, “Boy Sisi,” “Boy Patutsada” and “Boy Benggador.” The lampoons were likewise unsparing of institutions like the SONA (“Sisihin Others Never Aquino”) and the three equal branches of government (“executhief,” “legislathief,” “hoodiciary”).

For the Filipino, family is first as it should be. Stories like Jasmine Bautista’s Motherly talents you never knew you had and Julie Fuertes’ How to yell less and love more provide pointers for better child-raising and building more positive relationships in the home.

The Filipino father’s stereotype role of going out to the world to hunt, sow and otherwise provide for the family gets a turnaround with Rachel Yapchongco’s When the man does the cooking and Richard Ramos’ Hey Mr. Mom: The Househusband Phenomenon. Both stories assert men who cook, clean, look after the children and manage the home are not lesser fathers. On the contrary!

How we turn helpless and desperate when the kasambahay – especially our kids’ nanny – leaves or takes a vacation is highlighted in Joey Francisco Cruz’s Kasambahay blues: Nang magpaalam si Yaya Inday. The story is chockfull of comic episodes on how a trusted kasambahay is courted, indulged and cajoled to make her stay.

Rachel Yapchiongco’s Maniwala o hindi: Mangkukulam, mambabarang, mananambal and Lucky charms: Mga pampaswerte sa buhay show that a part of the population is still steeped in old beliefs – about the supernatural, about powers beyond what we can see, hear, feel and sense — which can impact into their lives.

What makes the Pinoy tick? Buhay Pinoy writers took a close and critical look at our collective psyche. Some conclusions that might prompt us to think of a makeover:

We can be vain and tend to put too much store on the superficial. Richard Ramos’ back-to-back stories on Vanity, they name is Pinoy and The Importance of good looks are an indictment of our penchant for “loving to look good” while “loathing to make it obvious.” He reminds us that while good looks can be a social plus, the “the qualities that really affect people and perceptions are those that are mirrored by internal values and feelings.”

In her Bato-bato sa langit, ang masungit, pangit, Tess Doce Halili affirms the ascendancy of a good and pleasant disposition over a beautiful face. In her own words: Ang maganda ay ang taong maganda ang ugali at busilak ang kalooban. Sila yong mahahaba ang pasensya, malalalim ang pag-unawa at maganda rin ang tingin sa kapwa.

The Filipino sense of pakikisama or camaraderie is outstanding, perhaps unparalleled. In fact, we sometimes do it to a fault, says Richard Ramos’ in Pinoy Pakikisama: OA na ba? Set a limit to giving in to what the group dictates, Ramos urges, especially when our sense of what is right and wrong is breached.

The bad guy – the babaero (adulterer), the lasenggo (drunkard), the jerk, the spoiled brat, even the ex-convict — is open to change, but watch out, it may be just for show or a flash in the pan. Manuel Calleja’s essay on Transformation, reinvention or just put on? gives the “prodigals” some benefit of the doubt, but draws the line when it comes to corrupt politicians who may present a made-over front during elections.

Tell me how you treat a waiter and other service people (the sales ladies and salesmen, the security guard, the janitors and utility persons) and I will tell you who you are. So how do we behave when we do not have to be nice? The Waiter Rule by Richard Ramos gives us the low-down.

Stories on life in the metropolis also made it big in Buhay Pinoy in 2014. In Top 10 survival driving tips in Metro Manila, Jose Cruz tells of mishaps to watch out for when one is just learning how to drive in the city of macho drivers. Richard Ramos describes Monster traffic jams: The horror that have become the nightmare of even the most jaded city slicker, especially during the latter part of the year. Rachel Yapchiongco, in her typical motherly fashion, gives pointers on how to ensure a safe and pleasant cab ride in Manong taxi driver and you.

Finally, how much of Christmas holiday junkies we are is evident in stories redolent with anticipation of the season. Toni Tiu offers practical advice on Christmas gift-giving to someone who has it all. For those who may worry they may be losing the Christmas spirit, she gives assurance that the holiday may be refreshed or “reformatted” in many ways in Jaded with Christmas? Tweak it, reinvent it. And in Lessons from the manger, Rachel Yapchiongco reminds us that Christmas is all about how the King of heaven and earth humbled himself by being born in a lowly manger, a clear call to be humble and turn away from materialism.

A big Thank You and a Happy New Year to all our readers. May 2015 find us, Pinoys, more resilient, more optimistic and cheerful, more family-oriented, more accepting of our follies, more ready to tweak parts of our lives than needs fixing, and more eager to do our bit in bringing peace and justice to our troubled country and planet.

Photo:  From flickr.com, some rights reserved

newskupowcover

NEWSKUPOW! Gen. Catapang atapang a tao; Sen. Drilon atapang a mukha; VP Binay atapang a atras; Kris Aquino atapang a suot.

Tuesday, 18 November 2014 | Written by
newskupowcover

 

 

 

 

 

 

newskupowcover180 peacekeepers naka-quarantine
sa Caballo Island.
21 days.
Para daw ito sa safety ng lahat.
Bawal ang family visits.

PERO…
si Armed Forces chief
GEN. GREGORIO CATAPANG, JR.
at si acting Health SEC. JANETTE GARIN
at mga tauhan nila
ay bumisita sa mga sundalo
para daw ipakita na
walang dapat ikatakot sa ebola.

Ha???
Walang dapat ikatakot?
Eh bakit kailangang i-quarantine sila
hanggang first week of December?

At bakit bawal ang relatives
pero kayo — hindi?

Paki-explain po.
200 words.
Single space.

*****

GEN. CATAPANG:
“[I joined acting Health Secretary Janette Garin]
to show our soldiers na safe ang mga sundalo
and also to show the entire country
that there is nothing to worry about Ebola.”

Ows?
Sige nga po…
punta po kayo sa Liberia o Sierra Leone.
Now na!

*****

DOH and naglatag ng protocol
pagdating sa pag-quarantine ng peacekeepers.

Sila rin ang lumabag sa protocol nila.

Only in the Philippines.

*****

Okay lang naman na bumisita sina
Gen. Capatang at Sec. Garin
sa Caballo Island, di ba?

Opo.
Basta i-quarantine din sila
for 21 days.

Or forever.
Whichever is longer.

*****

A GROUP OF DOCTORS SLAMMED
the military and health officials
who visited the quarantined peacekeepers.

“One Ebola case can actually
decrease our GDP.
It has economic, business,
and tourism impact,”
said Dr. Anthony Leachon
of the Philippine College of Physicians.

Eh, Dr. Leachon,
hindi po ‘yan naisip ng mga officials natin, kasi…

hindi naman po sila nag-iisip.

*****

A DAY AFTER CATAPANG’S VISIT
to Caballo Island,
nakihalubilo siya kina
Defense Sec. Voltaire Gazmin
at kay…. PNOY!

LOL.
Bakit parang naramdaman ko
ang excitement n’yo???

♪ Wish ko lang…

*****

SENADO NAGSIMULA NA RING MAG-HEARING
tungkol sa diumano’y anomalya
sa construction ng Iloilo Convention Center.

Palagay n’yo ba
mapapaunayang guilty ng corruption
ang mga akusadong sina Sen. Drilon, et al?

SAGOT:
Dilaw ang underwear nila.

*****

SEN. DRILON NAG-INHIBIT SA SENATE HEARING
on the Iloilo Convention Center (ICC)

Aba’y, dapat lang!
SIYA ang isa sa mga inaakusahan ng anomalya di ba?

Ano’g gusto n’ya…
APPLAUSE?

*****

NAG-INHIBIT NGA SI SEN. DRLON
sa senate investigation ng ICC.
pero nang magtestigo ito,
parang boss pa rin ang asta, ‘no?

Alam na!

*****

SEN. DRILON:
“What’s important is that —
at that time that there was DAP,
there’s a presumption of legality
because it has not been declared
unconstitutional at that point.”

Huh?
So… tigas-mukha n’yo pa ring
sinasabing WALA NANG DAP?

Halerrr!!!
Naloko n’yo na kami noon…
pati ba naman ngayon???

*****

NANG MAGTANONG SI SEN. NANCY BINAY
kay Sen. Drilon tungkol sa ICC,
binara siya ni Drilon
at paismid na sinabing
diretsahin na ni Sen. Binay ang pagtatanong.
(“Don’t beat around the bush!”)

Taray ng lolo mo!

O, ngayon….
palagay n’yo ba’y may kahihinatnan
ang moro-morong ito?

*****

SPEAKING OF SEN. DRILON…
ano na ang nangyari sa PORK BARREL
involvement niya?

Lumutang ang pangalan niya
kasabay nina Pogi, Sexy at Tanda,

At si NIEL TUPAS JR.?
Di ba’t mas nauna pang lumabas ang pangalan niya?

At pare-pareho ang kanilang initial alibi:
Ni-forge ang signatures nila.

So, nakakulong na sina Pogi, Tanda at Sexy…
pero bakit parang bossing pa rin
si Sen. Drilon at tahimik na si Tupas?

Ahhh…
daang matuwid nga pala, a.k.a.
YELLOW BRICK ROAD.

*****

SEN. TRILLANES ON VP BINAY:
“For the sake of the country,
I hope he backs out
(from the 2016 presidential race)
and stop pretending and fooling the people.”

RESPONSE:
“And also with you.”

*****

SEN. TRILLANES:
“I hope our countrymen see
the true character of Vice President Binay.
It’s important for an elected official
that when he says something,
he fulfills it and stands by it.”

We also hope that
our countrymen see
YOUR true character, senator:
ambisyosong frog na may messianic complex.

*****

SEN. TRILLANES A.K.A. SEN. PRANING:
“Baka ipakulong ako, ipapatay po ako nito (Binay)”

Ano ba talaga ang hinihithit mo, senator?

*****

PNOY TO SENATE BLUE RIBBON COMMITTEE:
I-present n’yo na lahat ng ebidensiya
(laban kay VP Binay)
at hindi pautay-utay
para matapos na ang telenovela, este, imbestigasyon.

Aba’y…
for once ay MAY SENSE ang pangulo natin!!!
Baka may nahithit din!

*****

KAMPO NI VP BINAY
nagpasalamat kay PNoy
dahil sa pahayag ng huli sa senado
tungkol sa mga kaso laban sa pamilya Binay.

Ano ba talaga, koya?

Magkakampi ba kayo
o magkalaban?

Nakakahello na!

*****

ANG MGA KASO LABAN KAY VP BINAY
ay nakahain na rin sa OMBUDSMAN.

Ang DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
ay nag-iimbistiga rin sa mga Binay.

At ang “hearing in aid of legislation (kuno)”
ay patuloy pa rin sa SENADO.

Sa madaling salita…
KUYOG!

*****

PING LACSON:
“BINAY RETREAT FROM DEBATE NOT A GOOD MOVE”

Ahem…
Mr. Lacson, wala po ba kayong suka at toyo sa bahay?
Eh, bakit po kayo nakikisawsaw?

*****

VP BINAY SAID HIS RIVALS
were “resorting to fairy tales”
in an attempt to destroy him.

Itinanggi na po ito ni
Pinocchio Cayetano
at Little Red Riding Trillanes.

*****

VP BINAY NAG-APOLOGIZE SA KBP
sa pag-atras sa debate nila ni Sen. Trillanes.

Rason ni Binay:
“Nagkakabaligtaran sa huli.”

Paki-translate nga, please.

*****

VP BINAY NAG-APOLOGIZE SA KBP,
ang Kapisanan ng mga Broadcaster sa Pilipinas

Iba pa po yung KBP,
ang Kamag-anak ng mga Binay sa Politiko.

*****

SEN. TRILLANES SAID THE INVESTIGATION
may last until May 2015,
adding that their goal is to send Binay to jail.

Tama lang ang haba
para sa isang telenovela
(13 seasons).

Kaya lang… bakit kinuwento na niya
ang ENDING???

Spoiler alert!

*****

BINAY’S CAMP SLAMS CORRUPTION ALLEGATIONS
AS “HULA-HULA”

Pero hindi po totoo
na ang nasa likod nito ay si…
MADAME AURING.

*****

DAHIL SA REVELATION NI SEN. TRILLANES
tungkol sa partisipasyon ni VP Binay
sa nabigong 2007 MANILA PEN SIEGE,
Binay maaari raw makasuhan ng rebellion.

Naku naman…
NAHIYA PA KAYO!
Sana kinasuhan n’yo na rin ng rape,
child abuse, libel, estafa, murder, etc. etc. etc.
para lalong walang kawala!

Go!

*****

PNOY COUSIN MIGUEL RIVILLA
pinanigan ng Comelec
sa pagka-mayor ng Paniqui, Tarlac
at pinabababa na ang nanunungkulang mayor
na si Rommel David.

Yan ang tuwid na daan!
Yan ang KKK!

*****

71 COCONUT FARMERS
continue their march to Malacanang.

THE MESSAGE: Give the P71 BILLION
coconut levy fund to its RIGHTFUL OWNERS,
THE FARMERS
and NOT to the POLITICIANS.

GETS N’YO?
O gusto n’yong mabato ng buko sa mukha?

*****

DSWD SEC. DINKY SOLIMAN
set to be given over P60 BILLION
for the CCT program alone in 2015,
despite the failure of the program
under her leadership.

Tignan mo nga naman!
Kapalpakan DOES pay!

*****

SEN. BONG REVILLA
pinayagang mag-overnight sa St. Luke’s
para sa medical check-up
kagabi (November 17)
hanggang kaninang tanghali.

Ni-check up po nila
kung buhay pa
ang political career niya.

******

NA-CHECK UP NA SI POGI.
Ngayon, humihirit si SEXY
na makapag-physical therapy.

Aba’y..
daig pa sila ni TANDA!

*****

SA NAKARAANG APEC SUMMIT
na ginanap sa China,
US President Barack Obama
umani ng batikos mula sa mga Tsino
dahil sa pagnguya nito ng chewing gum.
Disrespectful daw ito.

Binansagan nila si Obama na “idler” (batugan)
at “rapper.”

Rapper?
Eh, di… KEWL!!!

*****

News headline:
ROXAS-POE OR BINAY-POE SA 2016 ELECTIONS?

Juice ko Poe!

*****

MAY TOPAK SA ULO NAMARIL SA FAIRVIEW, 2 patay.
MANILA POLICE binaril sa kanto ng Recto at Legarda, patay.
MALETA na may bangkay ng babae, natagpuan sa Makati.
SA VALENLZUELA, 2 bata sinumpak, patay.
Vice-Mayor ng isang bayan sa Leyte, binaril, patay.
Kahapon, isang intel officer pinagbabaril sa Maguidanao, patay.
2 teenagers pinagbabaril sa harap mismo ng barangay hall, patay.

Ilan lang yan sa mga krimen
na naganap sa mga nakaraang araw.

Mukhang bumababa na nga
ang kriminalidad sa bansa.

Di ba, Gen. Purisima?

*****

MEXICO’S PRESIDENT ENRIQUE PENA NIETO
nag-stop over sa Pinas.
Galing siya sa China at papuntang Australia.

And guess kung sino ang sumalubong sa kanya?

Si Kris Aquino at Boy Abunda.

Ayy..
iba na ba ang Vice-President ng Pilipinas???

*****

KRIS AQUINO AT BOY ABUNDA
sinalubong si Pres. Enrique Pena Nieto ng Mexico.

No surprise there.
Si Pres. Pena Nieto ang isa sa pinaka-“papable”
na pangulo sa buong mundo.

So, alam na kung bakit
GANUN ang suot ni Kris.
(halos lumuwa na ang dibdib! ang saya-saya!)

Umepek ba naman ang pangse-seduce?
Lumuwa ba ang mata ni papable president?

Hinde. Mas NASILAW siya kay Boy eh.
lol

*****

MISIS NI PRES. ENRIQUE PENA NIETO
hindi na bumaba sa eroplano.

Ah…
naamoy niya ang lansa!

*****

AYON SA LATEST SURVEY…
bahagyang naka-recover
ang satisfaction rating
ng Aquino government.

Ows?
Magkano?

*****

NGA PALA, MAY SENATE BLUE RIBBON
sub-committee hearing na naman kanina
tungkol pa rin sa pamilya Binay.
Ika-12 episode na ito.

Ah, okay.
Kelan kaya ang season ender?
Boring na kasi eh.

*****

BYAHENG SINGAPORE NAMAN SI B.S. AQUINO III.

Para saan?

Eh, di…
para sisihin ulit si Gloria.

Tnatanong pa ba ‘yan?

*****

PHOTO CREDITS:
GEN. CATAPANG & PEACEKEEPRS: www.gmanetwork.com/news
VP JEJOMAR BINAY: getrealphilippines.com/blog
SEN. FRANKLIN DRILON: ph.news.yahoo.com
KRIS AQUINO: globalnation.inquirer.net
PRES. ENRIQUE PENA NIETO: freefabulousgirl.com

nkpow nov 6

NEWSKUPOW! Mga throwback (Pagbabalik-tanaw)

Thursday, 6 November 2014 | Written by
nkpow nov 6

nkpow nov 6NEWSKUPOW!
MGA THROWBACK
(PAGBABALIK-TANAW)

*****

THROWBACK (REVIEW):

SEN. TRILLANES, et al. hinamon si VP Binay
na dumalo sa senate hearing.

“Unfair!” sabi ni Binay, di raw kasi patas ang senado.
“Duwag!” sabi ni Trillanes.
Nanahimik ang kampo ni Binay.
Ngayon, pumayag na raw si VP sa debate.

Naihi sa pantalon niya si Trillanes.

*****

THROWBACK (DAYS AGO LANG NAMAN)
news item:
Trillanes binigyan ng taning si Binay

Aba’y…
senador na,
DOKTOR PA!

*****

BINIGYAN LANG NI SEN. TRILLANES
si VP Binay ng hanggang November 22
para harapin siya sa isang debate.

Ahh..
hayun naman pala.

Hindi doktor.
Hindi rin patient.
Kundi…
IMPATIENT!

*****

SO, BALE WALA NA YANG TANING NA ‘YAN.
DEBATE NI BINAY AT TRILLANES TULOY NA!
Pero hindi pa inilahad kung saan ito gagawin.

Saan kaya makakabili ng tiket?

*****

DEBATE NI VP BINAY AT SEN. TRILLANES
TULOY NA RAW SA NOVEMBER 27!!!

Debate?
Ano nga ba ang pagdedebatihan?

Ahh…
Kung sino ang dapat nating iboto sa 2016.

*****

SPEAKING OF SEN. TRILLANES
and the continuing senate hearing
about VP Binay’s assets…

mapapansing parang nag-iba ang tono
ng kinakanta ng 3 Stooges
sa “honorable” chamber na ito.

Malamang, na-realize nilang
nagba-backfire na ang kanilang…
KAYABANGAN.

*****

THROWBACK:
MULA ITO SA OCTOBER 24 “NEWSKUPOW!”:

2 GERMAN HOSTAGES PINALAYA NA
ng Abu Sayyaf group, matapos matanggap ng buo
ang ransom, sabi ng lider nila.

SABI NAMAN NG PNP:
Hindi nagbayad ang gobyerno ng ransom
para makalaya ang 2 German hostages

Yeah, right.
At ang mga ito ay iniligtas
ng mga kapre at duwende, di ba?

*****

NGAYON…
nagkalat sa social media ang pictures
ng milyong-milyon na ransom money
(P250 million)
na ni-post ng Abu Sayyaf na video
sa Facebook.

WOW!!!! P250 MILLION!!!!

Pero mas WOW!!!!
May Facebook account ang Abu Sayyaf!!!
(friend mo ba sila?)

*****

ANG FACEBOOK ACCOUNT AY PAG-AARI
ng isang Muammar Askali
a.k.a. Abu Rami.

Ahh…
Akala ko si Abu Sado.

*****

AT ANG REACTION NG AFP SA VIDEO NA ITO?

As usual…
nganga.

*****

SAMANTALA, ISA PANG BIHAG NG ABU SAYYAF,
ang Chinese store manager na si Li Pei Zhei,
pinalaya na rin.

iniligtas din siya
ng mga kapre at duwende, di ba, AFP?

*****

PRES. BS AQUINO III Oks YOLANDA REHAB PLAN.

AFTER ALMOST A YEAR?

Pinagmalaki n’yo pa???

Lumapit-lapit nga kayo dito!

*****

YOLANDA VICTIMS TINAWAG SI DSWD SEC. SOLIMAN
NA SINUNGALING.

Hindi raw totong wala nang naiiwang nakatira sa tents.

Baka naman nagpapatawa lang
si Dinky Doo, este, Dinky Soliman!

*****

ISANG TAON MATAPOS ANG YOLANDA TRAGEDY…
NBI hindi pa nasisimulan ang DNA cross-checking
dahil wala raw pondo sa pagproseso at pambili ng chemicals.

Di ba sabi ng gobyerno mabilis ang action nila?
Di ba bilyon-bilyon ang donations IN CASH?

Anyare???

*****

TILA YATA TUMIGIL NA SA 4,000 ANG PAGBILANG
ng gobyerno sa mga namatay
sa hagupit ni typhoon Yolanda.
Isang police official ang nasibak
dahil sinabi niyang pwedeng pumalo sa 10,000
ang dami ng mga namatay.

Hindi po nakakatawa ito.
Dahil malamang sa hindi, mahigit 20,000
ang TUNAY na dami ng mga namatay.
Heto ang mga dahilan kung bakit…

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151750202669149&set=a.10151895444969149.1073741837.755754148&type=1

*****

20,000 YOLANDA SURVIVORS
are expected to attend a two-day rally
to commemorate the tragedy.

Members of PEOPLE SURGE
said they will demand accountability
from the Aquino administration.

Accountability?
Asa pa po tayo!
Di po yata nila alam ibig sabihin n’yan.

*****

PEOPLE SURGE WILL HOLD THE 2-DAY RALLY
on November 7 and 8.
They said they will burn
the effigy of BS AQUINO III.

Effigy lang ang susunugin?
Sayang.

*****

MARAMI RING BIKTIMA NG BAGYONG YOLANDA
ang gustong mag-resign na si PNoy.

Hindi nga umaaming mabagal at inefficient..
magre-resign pa?

Eto lang ang sabihin n’yo sa mga pagong na ‘yan…

Multuhin sana kayo!!!

*****

SPEAKING OF MULTO…

THROWBACK SA UNDAS AT HALLOWEEN…

SINABI NI MMDA CHAIRMAN FRANCIS TOLENTINO
na tone-toneladang basura ang nahakot nila
mula sa mga sementeryo
nitong nakaraang Undas.

Chairman,
punta po kayo sa Senado.
Marami pa doon.
Hanggang ngayon.

*****

HALLOWEEN SA USA, UK, AUSTRALIA…

Ang top 10 costumes ngayong Halloween ay:
1. Frozen
2. Zombie
3. Ninja
4. Pirate
5. Clown
6. Witch
7. Vampire
8. Ninja Turtle
9. Book of Life
10. Flapper

Aba’t nakasama ang senado natin!
(Nasa #5).

*****

PNOY NAGLIBOT NOONG UNDAS

SIPAG!!!

Sana ganyan din siya kasipag
sa pagtulong sa Yolanda victims
(yes, victims pa rin UNTIL NOW).

*****

PNOY NAGLIBOT NOONG UNDAS

Nakatulong ba siya?

Oo…
sa pagsisikip ng traffic.

B’SET!!!

*****

PNOY UMAKYAT SA ISANG BUS NOONG UNDAS

Ahh…
baka naman nagbenta ng yosi.

Di pa ba sapat ang bilyones na DAP, ‘Noy?

*****

PNOY UMAKYAT SA ISANG BUS NOONG UNDAS.

Baka hinahanap si Gloria.
Kailangan n’ya yata ulit ng
masisisi sa darating na Yolanda anniversary.

*****

NOONG UNDAS PA RIN…

MGA PASAHERO NG BUS
nagpalakpakan pagbaba ni PNoy.

Tuwang-tuwa sila at…
lalarga na rin ang bus nila.

Cause of delay talaga ‘tong epal na ‘to, eh!

*****

PNOY NAMIGAY DIN NG BALLERS.

Owws?
Bakit sabi ng iba….
WALA SIYANG BALL…er
sowee… mali basa ko.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/v/t1.0-9/954740_10152568305903791_1996128882534588155_n.jpg?oh=42bb6855042eecb1a263bb11b06f5262&oe=54E98978&__gda__=1424967042_a38cc82f7f0472c9e8849aa97b74984c

*****

THROWBACK:
Balikan natin ang ilang sound bytes
mula sa nakaraang kabanata
ng “Senate Hearing in Aid of Demolition”…

Dahil napangiti si TONY TIU…

TRILLANES:
“Huwag kang magpa-cute, hindi kami naku-cute-an!”

TARAY NG FROG!!!

*****

HETO PA…

CAYETANO: CEO din ako sa office pero di ako nagpapakuha ng tubig.
TIU: Mawalang galang, ilan ang tauhan nyo?
CAYETANO: 50.
TIU: Ako, libo.

WASAK!

*****

NGAYON NAMAN:
Trillanes urges Binay to attend Senate probe.
“I promise I won’t bite,” sabi niya.

Totoo po yan.
He’s all bark, no bite.

*****

THROWBACK TO OCT 30:
Pinalayas ang UNA lawyers
dahil mga gatecrashers daw sila,
sabi ng 3 Stooges.

NOW:
ATTY. JV BAUTISTA DARES SEN CAYETANO
to file criminal charges against them.

“Duwag! Magpakalalaki ka!,”
sabi ni JV Bautista.

At tumaas lang ang kilay ni Cayetano.

*****

DAGDAG PA NI BAUTISTA:
“Si Cayetano, welcome nang welcome
pero noong dumating kami, hindi na kami welcome.
Ano ba ang kinatatakutan niya?”

Eh, sir, ang BULLY ay ayaw na nabu-BULLY.

*****

DESPITE THE ACCUSATIONS AGAINST HIM,
nangunguna pa rin daw sa latest survey
si VP Jejomar Binay bilang presidentiable.

At si Sen. Ambifrog Cayetano?
Kulelat.

Bakeet??? Bakit parang di pa sapat
ang ginagawa niyang demolition?
Ahh… sumobra siguro sa pagka-arogante.

*****

THROWBACK:
NAGLIPANA SA MGA SEMENTERYO
noong Undas
ang mga PEKENG pari.
Mag-o-offer ng “bendisyon”
kapalit ng bayad.

Magtataka pa ba tayo?

Kung may nagpapanggap na mga pari,
mas marami pa rin ang nagpapanggap na…
SANTO.

Maraming ganyan sa senado.

*****

MAWALANG-GALANG LANG PO…

Eh, bakit kasi kakailanganin n’yo pa
ang IBANG TAO (pari man o hindi)
para ipagdasal ang yumao ninyo?

Di ba kayo marunong magdasal?
Mahirap ba?
Wala kayong manual?

*****

SPEAKING OF MGA NAGPAPANGGAP NA SANTO…

Sec. Manuel Roxas II, Sec. Dinky Soliman, Sec. Leila de Lima,
and Sec. Proceso Alcala had P10.14 BILLION in cash advances
but FAILED TO LIQUIDATE the amounts beyond the prescribed period,
sabi ng report nf Commission on Audit.

Ahh…
so bakit parang tahimik ang yellow media tungkol dito?

(At bakit pa ba tayo magtataka?)

*****

DUMARAMI DAW ANG GUSTONG MAGPARI.
DUMARAMI DIN ANG TUMATAYA SA LOTTO.

Sa hirap ng panahon,
sa MILAGRO na lang talaga umaasa ang maraming Pinoy.

*****

SUNOD-SUNOD NA NAMAN ANG STREET CRIMES
nitong nakaraang linggo lang.
May babaeng hinoldap at nahulog sa jeep, patay.
May lalaking binaril habang naglalakad, patay.
May babaeng hinablutan ng bag habang naglalakad.
May lalaking hinablutan din ng gamit habang naglalakad.
May babaeng dinukot habang naglalakad at ni-gang rape sa sasakyan.

PAYO NG PNP:
Mag-ingat ‘pag naglalakad sa kalye.

Yun lang???

*****

SUNOD-SUNOD NA NAMAN ANG STREET CRIMES

PAYO NG PNP:
Mag-ingat ‘pag naglalakad sa kalye.

Ahh…
mas ligtas daw kung sa bubong tayo maglakad.

*****

SUNOD-SUNOD NA NAMAN ANG STREET CRIMES

Er…. GEN. PURISIMA,
mukhang tahimik ka yata lately?

Nagpapahinga ka ba
sa hacienda mong “ordinaryo”?

*****

DUTERTE MAGRERETIRO,
HINDI TATAKBONG PANGULO SA 2016.

One less strong contender.

At napangiti si SEN. AMBIFROG CAYETANO.

*****

NARITO SA BANSA
ANG EX-NBA STAR ALLEN IVERSON.
Payo niya sa mga players,
pahalagahan ang hard work
at HUWAG MAGING MAYABANG.

Ahh..
baka napanood n’ya kasi ang senate hearing.

*****

Tulad ng Makati City Hall building,
Iimbistigahan din DAW ang
ILOILO CONVENTION CENTER
at ang umano’y katiwalian
sa construction nito
kung saan sangkot si SEN. FRANKLIN DRILON
at iba pang government officials na dilawan.

Pero hindi pa alam kung kailan
sisimulan ang moro-morong ito.

*****

ACTOR ROBIN PADILLA,
hinamon ang mga senador
na sangkot sa katiwalian
na mag-resign.

Eh… Binoe,
MAUUBOS SILA!!!

*****

*****

THROWBACK QUOTE:

“You have to be very careful
because you are a Romualdez
and the president is an Aquino.”

— DILG Sec. Mar Roxas
to Tacloban City mayor Alfred Romualdez
after Typhoon Yolanda hit the city

*****

 

*****JOKE OF WEEK:

“We, in DBM, will make sure that services will exclusively
and immediately benefit in the most transparent
and accountable way.” – Sec. Abad.

.
PHOTO CREDITS:
PNOY GIVING OUT BALLERS: ugnayan.com
TYPHOON YOLANDA: biblicalspiritualitypress.org
ABU SAYYAF MILLIONS: www.philstar.com

quotable quotes source

http://www.malaya.com.ph/business-news/opinion/quotable-quotes-1

selftalk

Mental time travel: What will you tell your younger self

Saturday, 31 May 2014 | Written by
selftalk

selftalk 

by Richard Leo Ramos

When I was 21, I was in my third year of college. I had just recently been removed from the Legal Management course, and I had been able to shiftspeedily to the course I really wanted: English Literature. My father wasn’t happy with it, and neither was my mother, but they both simply told me that if that was what I wanted, then I had better make sure I was good in it.

 

So there I was, with an overloaded semester, since I had to catch up and synchronize classes with the rest of the English Lit block. It was a rather lonely time, since there were less than ten English Lit students, and most of them had already bonded with each other, or were introverts (as expected). I had come from a rather noisy business course block, so you can imagine the culture shock.

At that time, I was also going through a crisis in my private life, as I had, inadvertently, fallen for a person who didn’t really like me in that way – friendzoned, in other words.

 

If I were somehow able to go back in time and tell myself a few things, what would I say? I took me a long time to think through this assignment, but here are the things I would say to my younger self:

 

Do better in your studies – I have to admit, while I did have a love for literature, I wasn’t the hardworking sort of guy. I had been mostly able to get by on my native smarts, and I literally spent half the time in college just having fun. I would probably have to tell him that after finishing English Literature, I should probably aim to go for Masters immediately (if that was allowed), or to take some extra subjects that would help me out – like take accounting or statistics again as my free-slot subjects. I’d tell my younger self to forget about pride and ego resistance to the thought, because if I’ve learned anything, it’s that I should have learned how to be better at accounting in all the jobs I’ve been in.

Keep on exercising – After college, I simply didn’t take care of myself anymore, physically, and for many years, I coasted on the fact that I had been a varsity team member in college. Of course, now I have some health concerns because of a rather lax lifestyle. And I could have avoided all that if I’d simply gotten into the habit of exercising regularly. I’d also tell my younger self to keep on being involved in a sport. Right now, I’m paying for my lax lifestyle in terms of medicine expenses and gym training.

Stop being frantic about living in the moment and appreciate life as it happens – Ever since I was young, I’ve had this obsession of trying to always have fun, to the detriment of me working diligently or seriously for long periods. I will admit, too, that I’ve let go of some good jobs because I felt they weren’t anymore. I felt that if I wasn’t having as much fun as possible, then I wasn’t having a good life. Well, what I’ve learned as I’ve grown older is that I now have appreciation for the art of simply sitting back and appreciating life. I’m now content to work long hours, if only to have a bit of “me” time which is truly all to myself. True, I’ve become much less sociable, but at least I can appreciate quiet moments now. If my younger self could have done this sooner, then maybe I would be in a better place in life. 

Save up more – Speaking of money, that is one very important thing I would tell my younger self: STOP WASTING MONEY. I’d tell him to save up as much as he can every month, but to set a goal in mind for his savings, be it monthly insurance payments, or a purchase goal like a new guitar. What’s important is that there is that attitude of saving money for a larger thing. Part of this is also the fact that I will tell my younger self to stop being into instant gratification. Be it food or collectible toys, I would remind my younger self to practice some temperance.

Stop chasing after impossible people –
When I was younger, I always liked people whose traits were stuff I wanted in a person, but were not what I needed them to have. As you can expect, many of my attempts at relationships back then would end in a friendzone situation or worse, a total dissolution of whatever friendship there was at that point. I would tell my younger self to sit down and think carefully about what he really needs in the person he will choose to love. That way, there will be less heartache, more wisdom, and probably a less spotty history. Oh, and I would tell my younger self to not be caught up in the singles nightlife too much. That would probably have saved me a lot of money, and would have given me less embarrassing memories.

 

On a specific date and time, I will tell my younger self to log on to this specific chat room, and then contact a specific person, and then talk to that person – The reason for this rather detailed request is that… I don’t want my younger self to miss the relationship I have now with my significant other. We’ve gone through hell and back, we’ve had the best and worst of times, but we’re still together. We’ve been together for nearly ten years now. And I’ll be damned if I will let my younger self forget to meet the love of my life.

 

Stop the drama – I’d probably have to slap my younger self silly for this, but in this case, I think I’ll do all my friends a favor if I tell my younger self to stop being such a drama queen, and to just laugh at some of the stuff that will happen in my life. In fact, what I would tell my younger self is that he – I – should start looking for a solution before belting out the theatrics. Or, if nothing can be done, then just give a rueful chuckle. As a sub-request, I’d also tell my younger self to stop it with the “too much information” jokes. Seriously, I think I would be seen as a less crude person if I’d been a bit more… tactful in the way I say things.

Finally, I’d just tell my 21-year-old self the most important advice of all: That if I want a dream to happen, then I had better work at it.

And just to make sure, I’d probably hire the services of a law office, or a good friend who’d believe that I’m a 40-year old version of my younger self, to keep on reminding my younger self about everything I just said to him. That’s because, well, I know what I was like back then.

Will it work? Who knows? If it does work, then I wouldn’t be writing this piece – or if I still were, then I would be writing a very different set of things to say to another younger self.

Photo: “Talking To Myself” by Erich Ferdinand, c/o Flickr.

foreigner on a calesa

Way to go Joe: Ang mga Foreignoys

Wednesday, 28 May 2014 | Written by
foreigner on a calesa

by Julie Custodio Fuertes

foreigner on a calesaNaalala ko nung bata pa ako, kasama ko ang aking Mama sa aming tindahan ng may dumating na Amerikano. Matangkad, guwapo (para sa akin ha), matangos ang ilong, maputi, light brown ang buhok at kulay gray ang mga mata. Pero ang unang mapapansin sa kanya, siya ay balbas-sarado. Nang makita ko siya, madali akong tumalikod at sinabi sa aking Mama “Ma, nakakatakot naman si Joe (ang tawag sa mga lalaking puti noong araw), balbas sarado kasi, di man lang nag-aahit.”

Nagulat ako nung siya ay sumagot ng “Nene, bakit ka matatakot sa akin dahil sa aking balbas? Wala kasi akong oras para magshave kasi nasa bundok kami ng mga kasama ko at nagtuturo sa mga Ita.”

Hiyang-hiya naman ako at kaagad nag-sorry sa kanya. Nahiya ako hindi dahil sa sinabi kung nakakatakot siya kundi dahil naintindihan pala niya ang aking di magandang sinabi tungkol sa kanya Nakakatawang nakakahiya, hindi ba?

Para sa aking sanay na makakita ng mga Amerikano dahil sa isang base militar nagta-trabaho ang aking tatay, kakaiba talaga ang lalaking yun. Ang mga boss ng Papa ko dati kapag pumupunta sa bahay namin dahil magpapasama sa kanya upang mamili ng sariwang isda sa palengke, ang tawag sa kanya ay “Richard,”  pronounced as “Richerd,” English version ng kanyang  pangalang Ricardo.

Marami-rami na ring mga banyaga ang nagsasalita sa wikang Filipino. Di lang basta “Kumusta” o “Mabuhay” o kaya “Ano ang pangalan mo” ang kanilang alam sabihin. Merong mga marunong makipag-usap gamit ang wikang Filipino, katulad ni Joe sa aking kwento na hindi lamang marunong umintindi ng wika  kundi nakasasagot din nang nasa tamang konteksto.

 Merong mga idinadaan sa pagkanta ng mga sikat at di-gaanong sikat na awiting Filipino. Merong mga idinadaan sa pag-interpret ng mga katagang Ingles at gawing Pinoy version.

Dahil maraming Pinoy ang matatagpuan sa iba’t ibang panig ng mundo, OFW man o expat, nakapag-asawa ng banyaga o nag-aaral sa ibang bansa, hindi na sorpresa na may mga banyagang nakakaunawa hindi lang ng ating wika kundi pati na ang ating kultura.

Dahil sa globalization, teknolohiya at impormasyon mula sa iba’t ibang social media sites sa internet, natututo tayo ng iba’t ibang lengguahe at kultura ng ibang lahi and gayun din naman, ang mga banyaga ay nagaral din ng ating kultura at salita, maging Filipino, Ilocano, Bisaya o Ilonggo at iba pang mga salitang na sa Pilipinas nagmula.

Kaya nga kapag nakakakita tayo ng mga banyagang marunong ng ating wikang, gustong-gusto natin sila marinig at mapanood. Sila ang mga tinatawag na mga ‘foreignoys,’ foreigners na nagsasalita ng wikang Pinoy.

Nandyan si Justin Bradshaw, isang Consular Officer sa US Embassy sa Manila, na matatas magsalita ng Filipino.  Kahanga-hanga siya.

Napanood mo na ba ang Marinong Bisdak? Bisaya gyud, ang galing talaga!

Maputing Cooking” ang tawag ni Chris sa kanyang pagluluto. Siya ay isang Australyanong mahilig magluto at mag-wine pairing sa kanyang niluto.

Ang Pakistani taxi driver na magaling sa wikang Filipino ay tunay na nakakatuwang makipag-usap sa kanyang mga pasaherong Pinoy sa Dubai.

Si Andrey Khanov, isang 19 year old na Ruso na nag-aaral ng Oriental Studies sa Moscow. Napili niya ang wikang Tagalog na pag-aralan kung saan Ruso din ang kanyang guro.

Ilan lamang sila sa mga foreignoy.

Ano nga ba ang kanilang napapala sa pagsasalita ng wikang Filipino?

Una, kapag sila ay namamasukan sa Pilipinas, katulad ni Consular Officer Bradshaw, isang karagdagang sa kredensyal na marunong siya ng wikang Filipino dahil makaka-relate sa kanya ang mga Pinoy sa pumupunta sa US Embassy.

Si Chris naman na mahilig sa pagluluto, nagkakaroon ng mga kaibigan na nakakadagdag sa kanyang  exposure sa kulturang Pinoy upang lalo niyang mapabuti ang kanyang pagiging cook.

Ang marinong anad mag-Bisaya ay isang magandang ehemplo sa mga kabataang maaaring nakakalimot o nahihiya sa pagsasalita ng Bisaya.

Ang Pakistaning taxi driver ay magiging kaibigan ng mga napakaraming Pinoy na nagta-trabaho sa Dubai.

Si Andrey naman, na nagtataka na bihira sa mga Ruso ang nakakaalam tungkol sa Pilipinas dahil sa ilang oras lamang na biyaheng eroplano mula sa kanila hanggang sa Pinas, ay maaaring makatulong upang mas makilala ng mga Ruso ang ating bansa.

Kahanga-hanga sila, nagpupursige na matuto ng wikang Filipino samantalang ang ilan sa kababayan atin, tila may pagmamalaki pang umaamin na  hindi marunong magsalita ng Filipino ang kanilang mga anak.

Dahil ba mas sosyal marinig ang Ingles kesa Filipino? Achievement ba na mababa ang grade ng kanilang anak sa asignaturang Filipino at Araling Panlipunan sa paaralan? “My child can’t speak Filipino because we speak English at home. Filipino and Araling Panlipunan subjects are so difficult to learn and teach, ya know?” 

Ganun ba dapat ang ating pagtingin sa ating wikang Filipino?

Nakakaungos ang Pinoy dahil kahit saan man tayo mapunta,  sa trabaho, sa pag-aaral o sa pamamasyal, maaari tayong makipagusap at makihalubilo sa kahit sino.  Sa totoo lang, hindi ba napakaraming oportunidad ang nabuksan sa ating mga Pinoy dahil Ingles ang ating ikalawang wika? Sabi nga nila, ang OFW ang isa sa mga premyado sa buong daigdig.  At ang OFW phenomenon ay di makakailang nakakatulong sa pagunlad ng ating ekonomiya.

Sa kabilang banda, hindi dahilan na dahil marunong na sa Ingles ay tatalikuran na o kalilimutan na ang sariling wika, Filipino man o ang mga regional language na nakalakhan.

Ang kaalaman ng pagsasalita ng hindi lamang isa o dalawa kundi higit pang pang bilang ng lengguahe ay isang malaking pabor sa taong marunong nito. Nagkakaroon ng maraming oportunidad upang mapagyaman ang kanyang buhay.  Nagkakaroon ng pagkakataon na mangibang-bansa upang doon magtrabaho at magtaguyod ng maayos na pamumuhay.

May tanong lang akong iiwan para sa mga nagbabasa ng artikulong ito:

Ikaw ba ay naiinsulto o natutuwa kapag ang isang foreigner ay kinausap ka sa wikang Filipino imbes na sa wikang English?

Naiinsulto ka ba dahil bakit ka kakausapin ng isang foreigner sa wikang Filipino —  mukha ka bang hindi marunong mag-Ingles?

Natutuwa ka ba dahil kahit na siya ay hindi isang Pinoy, nagbigay siya ng panahon upang unawain ang ating kultura, pagaralan ang ating wika,  at makipagusap sa atin sa ating katutubong dila?

Photo: “Calesa- local horse cart” by shankar s., c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

help wanted

YOU’RE HIRED: Job scams and other first-job experiences

Monday, 26 May 2014 | Written by
help wanted

help wanted

By Raquel Erhard

I remember the first time I heard those beautiful words ‘You’re Hired’ when I was in my last months in the university.

I cannot remember anymore how I ended up applying for the job as a freelance entertainment writer for a really new tabloid newspaper, but I did and I got the job, too. My first assignment was to interview Francis Magalona. Or it could be that I got the job because I already have access to showbiz people as I was already doing on-the-job training at Channel 13 that time?

The memories may have faded but I still can relive how it felt when  ‘You’re hired’ was said to me. It was a combination of utter excitement and yet it seemed unbelievable, too. I think I floated in the air for hours, with a big smile on my face.

The next big thing came when my first article was published and I saw my name in the newspaper, with the tag ‘Entertainment Writer.’ Never mind that another college friend and I shared the byline. My byline is in print! I am sure I pumped my fists in the air and made the victory dance.

Of course, another highlight came afterwards: receiving the first salary from my first job. The call came first, informing us that there’s money waiting for us in the accounting department. Nervous with excitement, my co-writer and I rode the jeep from our university to the tabloid’s office. We were directed to the right room and each of us were handed a long, brown envelope with our names on it. We were on cloud 9!

We didn’t forget to pass by our entertainment editor’s office to thank him for giving us the opportunity to work for him, even as we asked for new assignments, too. Sadly, the newspaper didn’t last long. It did not even wait until our graduation a few months after to fold up. But to this day, I have kept that piece of article that made me confident I chose the right college degree as I enjoyed writing and researching for articles.

Next came graduation day. I recall some of my classmates who hurriedly changed into their business attires right after the ceremony, brandishing a cut-out advertisement from Manila Bulletin. They were told to go to a certain hotel (I would say it was the former Hotel Nikko in Makati, now Dusit), in business wear, with a copy of their curriculum vitae complete with ID pictures. I envied their determination but it was not the way I see myself getting hired.

As it turned out, my classmates  were told they were hired for the job of selling encyclopedias or insurance policies. 

Since then, I’ve been wary of business attires and mass interviews in hotels or any high-end venues.

I answered most freelance writing jobs I found on Manila Bulletin’s advertisement pages. Of course, not all of them answered back. Some answered with ‘Thank you’ notes which were appreciated because at least one knew the waiting is over.  

And then there’s the bitter experience of  ‘we have a job for you’ scammers. I experienced this once with another university friend.

This was the time we were scouring Makati, looking for a job and going to one job interview after another. We would even bring our ‘baon’ lunch boxes which we would eat in the old Greenbelt parks after a day of walking around Ayala Avenue and back. Admittedly, we all had dreams of working abroad.  Personally,  I would have accepted an assignment in the province, too.

That’s how we ended up looking into recruitment offices. We found one interesting advertisement for writers that promised o bring us out of the country. The office is located in Pasong Tamo — just the right place, because our main target was the Makati area.  No need to wear business clothes, just casual attire, the ad said.  But we came armed with our resume, the required two ID photos and references.

The office was small but apparently busy. We met the personnel officer doing the hiring and other people, including fellow job seekers. A day after leaving our documents, that same person handling our application called up, saying we were to meet her at the Goldilocks restaurant in front of the office the next morning. Not only that, we were to bring urine and stool samples. The instruction to bring those vials of human wastes convinced us we were at the brink of being hired.   But  wait,we were also asked to bring 200 pesos each, “ … you know, for laboratory.” The amount was not to be scoffed up at that time.

We met her early morning in Goldilocks where we turned over specimen and money.  On hind sight, she could have asked for a breakfast treat.  Good on her she didn’t, for we were drained of our bottom peso. 

A few days later,  we called to follow up our job application status.  You guessed it, we fell for a  hoax.  It turned out, the recruitment office was being used  by an unscrupulous group  to deprive young, eager, and unsuspecting job seekers of their money. 

I don’t know how many fell victims to the scam.  All I know is that friend and I got burned and learned lessons hard to forget.  We started looking for jobs elsewhere than in Makati.  We became cynical about any offer of easy jobs, easy money, too-good-to-be-true ads in newspapers.  “Fool me once, shame on you;  fool me twice, shame on me” became my mantra.

Fast forward to the internet age where one could easily find jobs in the same way one could find scammers.  So be very careful.

Number one tip? Never trust anyone asking money for a possible employment. Forget that.

Number two:  Trust yourself, your ability and your qualifications.

Number three:  Be ready to work hard.

Number four: Love your job.

After a lot of job -searching mishaps, I finally found the job I love and I stayed there for years and years. So I am pretty sure, someplace,somewhere, there is an ideal job waiting for each of us. Just make sure your eyes and mind and soul are open to these opportunities.

Raquel Erhard blogs at Home Worked.

Photo: “Jobs Help Wanted” by , c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

smiley moon

A mom’s ultimate wish: To be remembered laughing

Sunday, 11 May 2014 | Written by
smiley moon

by Minehaha

I do not really brood about dying. But it crosses my mind, now and again. It makes sense to think about it, death being one of life’s few certainties, the others being taxes and change.

Thus have I made a living will – simply a dos-and-don’ts list for when or just in case – God forbid – I could no longer express my will as to advance health care I get to receive. (Example Do feed me by nasal tube if I temporarily couldn’t swallow my food; don’t and I mean doncha ever slash my windpipe just to ease my breathing.)

Thus have I composed my own (tentative because a bit too mushy) epitaph – “She looked for the meaning of life… and found love.”

And now I want to make sure I am making memories.  Happy, funny, delicious memories that would be the stuff of family conversations long after I’d have gone.

In other words, I want to be remembered laughing.

No, silly, I don’t mean a remembrance of laughing me or me laughing.A laughing image of me would be hard to conjure.My smile is really a smirk.And I have this annoying habit of suppressing laughter, no thanks to an early blemish on a front tooth, which though long ago corrected has left an incorrigible tendency to avoid showing teeth at all cost.

More to the point, I want my family and friends to laugh laugh laugh when they think of me.

I want to be associated with things funny and happy and quirky.

Like my penchant for getting lost.

I want them to chuckle when they say: “Remember when mom got lost when we went on pilgrimages to Antipolo, to Agoo? Remember how she spent the night in a stranger’s house in Agoo, sleeping on the floor, and then taking the first bus to Manila the next morning?” And someone would probably add, giggling: “She got lost, too, shopping in Mega Mall.” Hopefully they will forget their mom had the temerity to get angry and scold them and insist THEY were the ones who strayed.

I want them to roll on the floor laughing when they recall my fashion style that dotes on shoulder pads, blouses worn back side front, stirruped pants, buttoned up collars, passionate-red lipstick, and a fluffy “banged” hairdo. Surely, someone would remark how I’d get pikon if anyone so much as snickered at the piquancy of my wardrobe. They had no way of knowing then — had they — that they could laugh their butts off, with permission, when the time comes.

They should also remember, smiling and with matching lip-smacking, my lengua, kare-kare and embutido – rated the best in the world by a six-person, panel of tasters, never mind that they are biased and possibly intimidated by sharp looks from the cook.If I get lucky, they would also drool for my deep, dark, mmmmmoist chocolate cake, never mind that it is unevenly layered, sloppily glazed and iced and always in danger of toppling over.

I am sure they would get hysterical recalling how on one occasion, while intending to replenish kare-kare in a foodwarmer at a party held at home, I poured a bowlful of lengua instead.  Thus was born a “fusion dish” that would forever be associated exclusively with my cooking: “Karengua.”

A quick survey of my children’s memories told me they remember the mom of their youth:for unfailing Friday night pasalubongs (that could vary from hopia to belekoy to doughnuts to siopao depending on the state of her temperament and wallet);  for shopping trips that usually ended at Goldilocks;  for Christmas gifts that usually overreached her capacity to buy.

And wouldn’t they guffaw when they remember one Christmas I got remote-control cars months ahead of the holidays.  How I kept them in what I thought was the most out-of-reach hiding place.  How they discovered the toys and then stealthily played with them weeks before Christmas, with mom in the office blissfully ignorant that the surprise gifts have been prematurely found and pre-empted.

They would, of course, also remember unsavory things, like her being pikon when corrected, her tendency not to listen to explanations, and her uninspired housekeeping– but these are of course to be glossed over.

These days, I try  (and often succeed) not to impulsively vent out when I get pissed out. I put brakes on my tendency to nag, scold, criticize, complain, whine.

I have come to realize – I hope not too late — that motherhood is all about building memories. Memories not of a perfect mother, but of a fallible, all-too-human, funny-without-trying mom.

Photo: “smiley moon” by , c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

 

MOTHER

Motherly talents you never knew you had

Sunday, 11 May 2014 | Written by
MOTHER

by Jasmine B. Barrios

MOTHER

           If there is anyone on earth who embodies sacrifice, mothers may top the list. In fact, there is one Filipino saying about them, “Isusubo na lang, ibibigay pa sa anak” (Even the food to be eaten is given to the children.

          In her book Embraced by the Light, Betty Eadie says that the most powerful prayer is that of a mother because of its selflessness.

 

          From the time of her child’s conception, the mother puts the little being’s welfare before hers. She has to do away with old habits and think of what is best for her baby from the smallest morsel she takes, the activities she does and even the way she thinks believing that her psychological disposition affects the infant’s emotional well-being.

Joanna had to give up her favourite past time of playing badminton to make sure her pregnancy was safe. Raquel had to slow down from her fast-paced career after being advised to bed rest for three straight months to assure that her firstborn would stay stable in her womb.

More amazing are the motherly talents that crop up especially after the babies are born. Rose used to be a scatterbrain. She would start out to do a task like washing the dishes but on her way to the kitchen, she spots her husband’s dirty clothes at the dining table. She picks up the stuff intending to put them in the laundry hamper but she notices left-over food on the table so she goes to the fridge for storage and finds out that there is spilled soda. She starts for the kitchen to get a rag to clean up the mess and remembers she has to wash the plates. By the end of the day, she gets exhausted without actually accomplishing any major task.

 

But when her daughter came into her life, she learned to have a strong sense of priorities even in the most menial of tasks. Breastfeeding took so much of her time that she had to do the chores first which she could not do while the baby was awake like taking a quick bath, doing the laundry and cooking meals. The rest had to take the backseat until she had more time during the baby’s slumber.

 

Besi thought she had it all figured out as multi-tasker until she had her son.  She mastered ambidexterity which included not only her both hands but her feet, too. While commuting to the clinic for her little boy’s regular check-up, she holds him in one arm, makes formula milk without spilling the powder from the dispenser even if the bus is in motion, reaches a towel that the baby drops on the floor with her toes, while keeping her balance with the other foot.  

 

            Renee hated her theatre course back in college but she never realized she would actually enjoy singing, dancing and acting with a private audience. She began crooning along with the musical nursery rhymes, dance crazily to the tune of the latest hits and lives out characters in books until her youngsters fall asleep.  All these she performs with gusto much to delight of her innocent fans who think the world of her.

 

When the kids start growing up, a new set of abilities develops. Coco’s firstborn reached the terrible twos stage earlier than expected. Her strong-willed daughter had the habit of saying no to every command and insisted doing things on her own at one year and five months. Coco had to squeeze her creative juices to avoid resistance and tantrums. Instead of engaging in a battle of wills with her spunky tyke, she learned the art of encouragement and giving enough space to explore without much prohibition. This made her toddler more open to subtle corrections and guidance. Their life together got less stressful, too.

 

Tere had to cope with her two super active boys with maximum tolerance. The usually reserved and quiet person that she is had to turn her life around to deal with rowdiness. To direct their energies from rampaging and messing up the house, she had to get them involved in more productive activities like socializing with other kids in the neighbourhood playground and play acting at home complete with props done by the boys themselves.

 

Of course, who could deny the healing power of Mommy’s magic hugs and kisses that beat any brand of iodine to cure knee scrapes and ice bags to numb head bumps.  The child’s first instinct when hurt is to run to Mommy and drown his tears in her warm bosom. All the pain suddenly vanishes as Mommy smothers the hurt with lots of kisses.

 

The mother’s story goes on and on with unconditional love and acceptance as her child finds his way into the real world. Her pride beams with every victory. Her heart bleeds with every failure. Her soul torments for a rebellious offspring gone astray. Still, her arms are forever open wide to welcome him back.

 

No monument can ever edify a mother’s sacrifice and compassion but every child knows deep within who to go to and feel truly at home.

Photo: by Vinoth Chandar, c/o Flicker, some rights reserved

 

baby

Kasambahay blues: Nang magpaalam si Yaya Inday

Friday, 9 May 2014 | Written by
baby

by Jose Francisco Cruz

babyMagpapaalam na talaga aku. Deh koh na ma-teek ang boring ko dih-two. Nood lang ng TV buong maghapon, tas minsan di pa ku na-abutan ng miriendah. Yung chukuleht sa bata lang man daw. Sitsirya sa bata, epol at banana sa bata. Sa bata, sa bata, sa bata! Naka-inis man aku, ay!

Mag-aral daw ba aku maga-uli, tanong ni Sirr. Sabi ko ibigay kun a lang sa pamilya ku, ba. Midyu pang malling-malling din pag dee-op, sama ku si Beebee BF. Ayaw ku talaga na mag-iskul, tama na yung hirap na naapag-daanan ku nung sa bata pa aku, ay!

Wala man kaming luti, walang bahay, piru gabi-gabi amoy gin si tatay. Ganun daw kasi ang may pinagsamahan – walang uwian. Yung na lamang daw baga ang kaligayahan niya. Tahimik man siya pag nalalasing, ay iyun nga lamang at na-uga ng maigi yung duyan nila ni mama, at di man ako makatulog sa may ilalim ng tulay at maingay na nga sa mga trucks, panay-eek-eek, eek-eek man yang duyan nina mama’t papang. Siyam kaming magkakapatid, pangalawa aku. Maayos naman ang aking mga kapatid. Yung tatlung mas bata sa akin nagsipag-asawa na. Naka-alis na kami sa tulay, at nasa gilid na ng ilog ang aming bahay, sa kabutihang luub ni Miyore I.M. Eeyore. May LCD TV, dvd, at Iksbak, yung Plee-steeshon baga, ang hilig naming ay Ned 4 Sped.

“Hoouwaah!”

“Uu, beebee, la-la-la, hmm, hmm! Maga-tulog na kaw ulee, hmm, mmm, hmm!”

“Gooh!”

“Beebee gehl, gud gehl man iyan. Uu, mwah!”

“Gooh..”

“Oh, Ati, kayo na puh pala iyan.”

“Oh, heto, Inday, Gonads Donuts pasalubong ko sayo, masarap ang mga iyan..”

“Si Ati, nag-abala pa.”

“Siyempre, para di ka na umalis.”

“Si Ati talaga, uu!”

“But seriously, Inday, ba’t ba tayo umabot sa ganito?”

“Ati..I..I..I don’t know. Basta ang alam ko, di na ako masaya.”

“Let me make it up to you, ‘Day. Ano ba ang puede ko gawin para mabago ang isip mo?”

“I’ve made up my mind, Ati.”

“I can change, don’t give up on me, ipaglalaba kita, ipagluluto, bibigyan ng pang bar-hopping gabi-gabi, just please, wag mo ko iwan Inday!”

“Bar hopping?”

“Oo, with two ladies’ drinks and sisig-consumable.”

“Uu nga po, Ati, nabo-boring na po aku detuh.”

“I’m so sorry Inday, hindi ko na isina-alang-alang ang need mo to be entertained. Di pa kasi ako nakakabili ng racket para sa Virtual Tennis game na paborito ninyo ng kapatid mo, ang budget ko kasi napunta na sa card para dun sa ini-request mo na LED TV na 79 inches.”

“Uu nga po eh..”

“O sige, isasantabi ko na yung CCTV footage na kitang sinasakal mo si Bebe Gerr kasi ayaw tumigil sa pag-iyak nung kurutin mo siya sa may talampakan dahil gumagala papalayo sa TV.”

“Iyan pa ang isang ayaw ko sa iyo, Ati, palagi mo man akong pinaparatangan na sinasaktan ko si Bebe, hogs and kesses lang man yun, ay! Lagi kang nasa office, ay ako ang naga-puno sa labing-labing na di mo man maibigay.”

“Malaki nga ang pagpapasalamat ko sa pagmamahal mo sa pamilya ko. Lalong-lalo na ang pag-aasikaso mo kay sir mo.”

Inday: “Upu nga pu Ati, promise pu, I swerr, alagaan ku pu maboti si Sirr.”

Ati: “Kaso, hiling ko lang noh, baka naman puedeng di mo na subuan Sirr mo pag nasa labas tayo, hindi naman sa nagseselos ako o ano, yun nga lamang kasi hindi na siya bata. At minsan kasi, napapa-bayaan mo na yung bata, at kung ako naman ang pirmeng mag-aalaga kay Bebe Gerr eh pagpasok ko sa gabi, inaantok ako sa trabaho.”

I: “Kayo naman, Ati! Dili man kaw aga-selos dapat! Extra service ko lang yun kay Sirr, gaya ng pag-abot ko ng tuwalya niya sa banyo pag nakalimutan niya iyon.”

A: “Makakalimutin nga si Sirr, ano? May Alzheimers yata.”

I: “Ano puh yun?”

A: “Wala. Sige, ituloy mo lang yung kuwento mo.”

I: Yun po lamang ang extra service ko, at kung di siya makatulog sa madaling araw at nagpapahatid ng gatas sa kwarto niya. Iniisip ko na lang na parang Bebe ko rin si Sirr.

A: Kaya nga huwag ka na umalis. Kailangan ka ni Bebe Gerr, ni Sirr, at pati ako. Ano ba kasi ang tunay na dahilan at atat na atat ka na biglang umalis?

I: Yun nga kasing Bebe BF ko na Hapon man, Ati.

A: Eh, hindi ba puedeng ipagpaliban yung kasal ninyo, at ang pagpunta mo sa Japan?

I: Si Sirr nga din poh, ayaw ako umalis, papano na daw poh siya. Eh Ati, I love Taguro, so so mats.

A: Andun na tayo, baka naman maa-aring magkasya na lang muna kayo sa video chat, parang awa ninyo na.

I: Bitin man kasi ang Skyfe, Ati! Tapus man, maraming japayuking naglandi kay Taguro, kita ko sa Fezbook, Ati! Puntahan ko man na siya dun, baka ma-agaw man sa akin, ay!

A: Triplehin ko suweldo mo, at isa pa ang mga Hapong lalaki, ginagawa daw katulong ang mga asawa nilang Pinay.

I: Aguy. Eh ano ba man ang trabaho ko ngayon, Ati? Tapus, American Dream ko din ang mag-Disneylang sa Japan, ay.

A: Paano naman na kami?

I: Ati, may kapalit na ako, naka-Skyfe na nga si Sirr. Nagustuhan na niya. Ma-asikaso rin iyun, gaya ko, masisiyahan si Sirr sa kanya.

A: Baka si Bebe Gerr ang ibig mo sabihin.

I: Ay! Oo nga poh!

A: Gagawin kong dalawang araw sa isang lingo ang day off mo, at gagawin kitang dependent sa health insurance ko.

I: Sabi ni Sirr, depend na daw poh ako sa insured niya. Pag-esepan ko poh muna yung dee-opp habang naga-visit si Taguroh dito sa Philippines.

Sirr: “Indaay! Yung tuwalya nakaligtaan ko. Andito ko sa banyo.”

I: “Abutin koh man muna twalya ni Sirr, Ati, saglit man lang ha.”

A: “Sige, sige, papahinga na rin muna ako. Ang hirap talaga nang pang-gabi..”

Photo: “Baby………” by Arvie (✿◠‿◠) Castillo, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

tarot cards

The fortune teller and the fortune told: Should we believe in them?

Thursday, 8 May 2014 | Written by
tarot cards

by Richard Leo Ramos

 

The fascination that people have for fortune telling has many levels: from the idea of having fun and finding out who has a possible crush on you, to the deeper, almost maniacal obsessions of wanting to know how to avoid every single action that can make a person come closer to death.


tarot cards
Within the Philippine setting, one of the more famous stereotypes for fortunetellers is the one who uses Tarot cards to find out what may happen to you. Unlike in the West, where the idea is to see one in a tent in the carnival grounds, you can find Tarot card readers going around practically everywhere here in the Philippines. Some are the sort whom you have to visit, and some are the ones who can do home service. Some of the more nomadic types can even have your fortune told while you’re in a restaurant.

As the ambience, the crystal ball, and the smoke are all peeled away (though, in fairness, some of them use small crystal balls, and definitely do smoke when they give fortunes), what’s left looks little more than a normal person who somehow can tell you things that can make your future better.

So… where’s the magic in that?

Well, here are a few thoughts on the matter – and I know this, on a personal level, since I used to use Tarot cards, but I eventually retired.

The Future is not set in stone

First off, people should not think that fortunetellers can tell exact futures. What we can tell you is that if you keep on doing certain things, or making certain decisions, that your outcome becomes more and more certain. I do not know how other fortunetellers saw it, but for me, it was like being at the edge of a giant root system or web. From where I was, I could see how certain decisions or attitudes can lead to certain conclusions.

 

However, that’s not to say that I couldn’t see the future. I could, but I saw at as a range of probabilities.

It’s not in the cards

Now, how many times have people heard some fortune tellers say, “it’s in the cards,” or “the cards cannot lie”? Seriously, whenever I hear other fortunetellers say that, I have to step out of the room out of respect – because I don’t know if that works for them.

 

The cards used are, really, a meditation aid for the fortuneteller. It allows them to access certain mental facilities that help them see the future probabilities. That’s the reason why cards can have so many overlapping symbols on them – these symbols serve to become the language through which a fortunetellers abilities can communicate with the fortuneteller himself or herself.

 

Can they lie?

I’ll be honest: I have been taught by some people how to fake a reading, actually. The method, aptly enough, is known as “cold reading.” When this method is used, the conversation that the fortuneteller has with the client usually gives the teller clues on what the issues are. Once they can set up a conversational pattern where they can simply manipulate what they’re saying to address the client’s issues, then they can create a whole “reading” out of it.

To be honest, some fortunetellers who actually may have the gift still use this, as a way to anchor their perceptions. However, if you feel like your fortuneteller is a bit too inquisitive, or a bit too bombastic, then you may have been conned, rather than read.

 

So what’s the real deal?

In truth, fortune telling isn’t so much the gloom and doom that we see in the movies as it is about personal counseling. The only difference is, fortune tellers can actually see the probabilities of their client’s actions, and offers alternatives that can reach that goal, without having to sacrifice so much.

 

In a way, that is why fortune telling takes so much out of a person. Fortunetellers can’t help but empathize one way or the other with their clients, particularly if the decision or query is very personal.

So, are there any true fortunetellers?

If you’re looking for the gypsy in the carnival tent here in the Philippines, then sad to say, you’ll probably be gypped. However, if you do inquiries among your friends, don’t be surprised if at least one of them knows about at least one fortuneteller whom they believe in.

 

What about payment?

I’ll be honest, when I did do fortune telling, I simply told my clients to pay me the value of their concern. Now, this has resulted in some interesting payments: quite a few offered to pay for my meal, so we can have the reading in a nice restaurant with a measure of privacy. Others have given me the literal white envelope, which sometimes had thousands of pesos – or, in one case, a gnarly old hundred-peso bill. To be honest, I couldn’t imagine imposing a fee on people, because that would set up expectations – and frankly, sometimes, fortunetellers simply cannot connect with the client, be it because they are skeptical to begin with, or they refuse to open up emotionally or intellectually.

Should you find out about your fortune?

Seriously? As in… seriously? My advice to all those who would like their fortune told is that if you are looking to have your fortune told, don’t do so if you’re looking for a confirmation. Do so when you are really confused and you don’t know what to do.

It is at that point that a true fortuneteller can help you. This is because he or she can give you clarity of mind that can be very useful when you do make the big decision or next step in your life.

Does that mean I don’t approve of people who seem addicted to fortunetellers? Yes, I do not approve of them. Because, really, that’s shopping for a result that the client likes, not the one that the client needs.

And if you don’t believe in fortune telling… that’s cool. After all, not everyone needs to find another viewpoint for certain life events.

 

Photo: “Tarot” by Marilyn Roxie, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

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